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Goram – den fete jäveln

Det är inte första gången man läser om en spelare som tror att någon driver med honom när Ferguson ringer upp. Andy Goram – han spelade i United, det är ju inte klokt! – trodde att det var Ally McCoist.
Det var det inte:
”Miriam and I were together at the time and she was driving me to training one day when my phone rang. Coisty.
It was 9.30am and I thought he must be coming in from a night on the batter. Ally never phones you in the morning.
We blethered, and I shrugged it off and went into training.
Then at lunchtime on the way home the phone rang again. Walter Smith. He was manager of Everton at the time and warned me to keep my phone on because someone was going to ring me.
”What is it, gaffer? You got a job for me?” I asked. ”Just keep your fucking phone on,” he growled.
Now I was starting to wonder what was going on. I suspected I was about to get the piss taken out of me.
Two minutes later, the phone rang again. ”Goalie, it’s Alex Ferguson here. We’ve got Bayern Munich on Wednesday and Liverpool at the weekend. Barthez is injured and Raimond van der Gouw is struggling. I need you to come down on loan until the end of the season.”
I said: ”Coisty, fuck off”. And put the phone down. Ally could do Sir Alex perfectly. I wasn’t falling for that old one.
The phone rang again and I told Miriam to answer it this time.
”Miriam, this is Alex Ferguson, and you can tell that fat bastard he’s got ten seconds to say aye or naw.”
It really was him. I thought I was dreaming.
I’d been playing football for 20 years, and there had been many great moments.
But I don’t think many come close to that call from Sir Alex Ferguson.”